When you're trying to make it in NYC, chances are that you're working 2 jobs, if not 3. The problem with having 2 jobs that are complete polar opposites of each other (one in the food and beverage industry, the other's in a law office), besides the obvious lack of time to do anything, is that you have to look office appropriate during the day then like a high end prostitute at night. It's like being Hannah Montana, but in real life and minus the money. The results always warrant mixed reviews, especially in the restaurant business where word to mouth filters are often absent. Did I mention that they're racist too?
The moment you walk in is usually met with side eye glance then scanning you from top to bottom. Then it is usually followed by a first snarky comment like "You look like one of the house wives from NJ." I mean, I guess ... I wasn't really going for it, but at least they're happy, right? Right?
Then the second person chimes in - "You know what you look like? What is the female version of a pimp, the one that has brothels?"
- "a Madame?"
- "yes!!!! But like a chill professional one."
- "I had to come from the office."
-"Yes honay, you wanta girrr? We gotta whyate, we gotta asiana, we gotta brack. You wanna doubre? You gotta pay dorrars"
- "I'm an Asian Madame? Like from Chinatown?"
- "What other types of Madames are there?"
And then you get that one nice guy - "I haven't figured out what she looks like yet. I think she looks sexy." This is generally crushed by THE ASSHOLE whose filter is broken completely - "I don't understand what you're wearing. It's like a pencil skirt with a slit and a button down but it's completely sheer. You trying to look like a hooker from New Jersey?"
- "I doubt anyone aspires to be like a hooker from NJ"
- "well you succeeded."
Why thank you, douchebag. This type of conversation is generally dispersed by either a phone call or someone asking to be seated. Then the ass-kissing begins. Followed by a late night, then early wake-up call to get back to the office for some free labor. New York is definitely not for the weak. What a magical city!